Things are looking up!!

FINALLY! A good night.

I must say that even though yesterday was a tough day, yesterday afternoon and evening definitely made up for it.

First of all, I came home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers bought by my amazing hubby RJ. He is just the best. He knows how to put a smile on my face. It's funny but I really appreciate the old fashion romantic things that guys can do for girls. Warms my heart.

Then he made supper (without complaining). And it was amazing. I'm still pumping so I am always hungry. 

CJ and I were busy at a play date all afternoon so I didn't have time to get supper ready. The play date really helped put me in a better mood as well. Just to get out of the house, has a tremendous effect on my mental health. It keeps up busy, keeps CJ stimulated and makes the day fly by. I cannot believe it is already Thursday!!

After supper, our little turkey went down like a charm. He obviously was tired from the afternoon play date and the fact that his naps were not overly long probably plays an effect on that too. He went down without a fuss.

Once our little baby boy was put down to sleep, it was finally ME time!!!

I took a few seconds to relax ... and then it was workout time! I've been following a 6 week program by the Tone it up girls. If you haven't heard about them yet you can check them out here ... I just love their workouts. They are easy to follow and always include a variety of interval training options for cardio which helps mix things up. 

Once workout was complete, I showered. I see this as it was something of significance. A shower truly is now. I never thought I would value shower time as  much as I do now. I even washed my hair. It was heavenly. During the day, it is next to impossible to shower. It was easier to do so when CJ would enjoy sitting in his little chair while he watched me but now he wants to be on the 'go' constantly. 

After my shower, I snuck downstairs to retrieve the baby monitor from the mister and we ended up hanging and watching The People's Choice Awards. Holy Cow - DATE NIGHT!!!!! A day that started off in shambles ended with perfection.

Lovely flowers, supper, workout, shower and unexpected date night! 

PERFECTION! 

Baby update on sleep last night. 

My sleep training method is as follows: 

1) Wait a few minutes to ensure he truly needs you. In the past, I have been known to always rush right in to help and in the end this only wakes him up even more.

2) Go in for a minute to reassure for 1 minute but NOT pick up. Rub his back or tummy while saying that you love him and are there for him but remember whatever you do, do not pick him up.

3) Leave for a minute and then repeat. Lengthen the time you leave him each time - 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes etc. 

Luckily it only takes 1-2 times before little CJ has to fall back asleep thank goodness. I have a hard time listening to the little fella cry but I know it's for the best as I'm teaching him how to sleep on his own. 

He needed help at 11pm and 3am. 

Wake time = 5:30 am. !!!!!!!!! When he can wake up anytime between 3-5, I'm golden. It's when he wakes up the other times that kills me. 

Now 5:30 is a bit early to be waking up for the day but I'll take it. I'm thinking if we maybe push back his last bottle by 30 minutes this might bump up to 6am which I don't mind. It is still early but if CJ can sleep from 7pm - 6am - I WOULD LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE IT!!!!! 

It always seems so close in reach and then something happens to completely throw us off. I'm really hoping that this continues and then at night he will learn to self soothe and I won't have to go in at 11pm and 3am to help him. He's such a smart little baby so I'm sure it won't take long. 

This morning he went down for nap at 8:17am and is still sleeping. 

I'M SHOCKED! 

I heard him stir and left him to self soothe and voila ... sleeping baby. Of course I am on my computer as opposed to getting things done as I should be but I am really enjoying this outlet. I know I don't have any readers yet but hoping you will eventually come. 

Mama blues

I'm having such a terrible day and I feel as though I have no outlet... hence the reason for this blog. I thought I would be using it much more but alas the life of a mom has gotten to be too busy for me to write as often as I would like to.

I know I need this blog though.

Just as much as it needs me.

I need an outlet.

Who is not my husband.

Or my best friends.

Or my mom friends (who seems to have it all put together, but do they really?!)

Or my mom ... HA.

Because none of the above deserve to hear my negativity! 


I must admit, yesterday was a fabulous day. Mainly because we left the house and was gone most of the day. These are the days that fly by. But the days we are stuck inside ALL DAY drag on and on and on. I literally go nuts. It is so hard to get out though when the weather has been so cold. (-35 degree days and that's Celsius for you American folk)

I know our days would be better if our nights could get better too. Last night was a typical wake up 3 times-kind of night. So by morning (6am) I was ready for another nap. I fed CJ, he played for an hour and then luckily fell back asleep until 8:30am. Now most of you would think that this would be amazing but by 10:30 when he should be going down for his regular nap, he was wide awake. So we played, and played, and fussed, and played, and fussed, and read a book, and ate some more, and snacked some more until finally he went down for a nap around noon.

Alas, now I finally had time to get my morning pump session in. Yes, I am an exclusive pumper (for reasons that will be mentioned in another post, stay tuned) and I am still pumping. I took a peak at my pumping stats this morning and I have spent 9 FULL DAYS attached to my pump. That's roughly 210 hours. So much time attached to a machine who is not my baby. I don't think other moms who are able to breastfeed successfully truly understand the time and dedication that goes into being an exclusive pumper.

Baby CJ just woke up ... and you know what. His smile is what makes it all worth it. His little giggle is what is getting me through the day. It doesn't matter if the house is clean, bottles are washed/sterilized, the dog has been walked, supper is  made, papers are filed/organized... because you know what. I have a happy, healthy baby boy. I am beyond lucky.

xo

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Weekend Blues

Well ... where do I begin.

This weekend I had my staff Christmas party which I decided to attend even though I am on maternity leave this year. The party was Friday night.

Originally, I thought I would not attend because I just spent all week getting over my 4th round of mastitis. It was brutal. I could not believe I had gotten mastitis AGAIN. Partly my fault though. Last weekend, we decided to have a few friends over and knowing that I have a huge freezer stash of breast milk, I thought I would enjoy myself. Well, I did so a little too much.

Sunday morning my breasts were the size of a couple BALLOONS and I could tell that I was extra dehydrated from my wine consumption the night before.As the day continued, I started to feel achy and eventually had the chills. I knew exactly what I was. MASTITIS aka. worst thing ever. So taking the whole week to recover from this nasty illness and being on antibiotics all week, I thought I would not do it to myself again and would not attend the Christmas party.

Then, I changed my mind.

I went from not wanting to go, to wanting to pop in for a few hours, to wanting to leave my car there overnight, to becoming full out tipsy and arriving home at 2:00 a.m. Let me tell you, yesterday was rough. Now all you moms out there can judge me all you want because I know drinking while breastfeeding is frowned upon but as I mentioned, I have a huge freezer stash which I can use anytime. So if SJ wants to enjoy a drink or two on weekends, I see no harm in such.

However; a lot of thoughts crossed my mind yesterday:

1) The big one being, I never want to drink again.

2) Well, I never want to drink that much again.

3) Next party I'm only having one glass of wine.

4) Am I bad a mom?

5) This is not fair to CJ.  He needs Mommy to be 110% everyday.Although, I feel like no matter how little sleep a mom does get, we can always be 'ON'.

6) Where the heck is Daddy when you need him? Oh ya - the big guy is actually a little hungover today himself!!!! And after he gave me such a hard time yesterday. Why I outta ... I am thinking I should just throw CJ on top of him and tell him I'm running out to run some Christmas shopping errands that I'll be back later. But I couldn't do that to my little CJ today.

So moving forward ... I think I will just be much more careful when indulging in a night of fun and remember that my son needs me at my best the next day no matter what (even through the holidays).

Side note - this morning we went to a friend's house for a doggie play date. BJ (insert snort and giggle) had a fabulous time. CJ enjoyed the fresh air even though it was really quite cold. We stayed about an hour before I could no longer feel my toes. Hoping someone gets this mama a pair of Sorels. All in all, it was a wonderful morning.

Now to finish those damn Christmas cards ...

SJ

45-minute nap intruder!

45 minutes... MORE LIKE 20 freaking minute INTRUDER!!

CJ is 5.5 months now and naps for about 20 to 30 minutes in his crib. He made the transition to his crib for daytime naps probably when he hit the 4-month mark (I have the worst memory ever pp) before that he would nap in his swing. The swing was amazing for him. He could actually take really long naps in that thing but I realized when his little feet started dangling off the end (our kid is literally 99% in length, RJ is super tall so makes sense) that he would not be able to last in that thing forever.

These short naps make life insanely difficult. For the most part this is the time I take to pump. Yes. I am pumping exclusively and have been since basically week 1. Post on that another time. To be able to pump, store breast milk, wash the parts, sanitize, etc. He has woken up. There is zero ME time or 'You' time as the Baby Whisperer likes to refer to it in her 'EASY' schedule. E = eat, A = Activity, S = Sleep & Y = You time. In the land of short naps there is no 'You' time. RJ does not quite understand how challenging this can be. Especially when he spends most of his afternoon surfing the internet looking up various things such as possible future cottage building plans. He gets his 'You' time. I do not. Yes I am complaining. Sorry. But it just feels better to get it off my chest. Exclusively pumping is challenging and I feel like RJ does not quite understand why. Again, that for another post. Stay tuned.

So back to his 20 to 30 minute naps. Lately, his second morning nap and afternoon nap have been slowly stretching out on their own. My little sweet angel has suddenly turned into a tummy sleeper. SHOULD I BE CONCERNED? We used to have our Angelcare Sensor pad on until that part of our unit got recalled due to two deaths in the US where babies had actually grabbed hold of the cable and strangled themselves - SCARY SHIT FOLKS!!!!!! So we currently just use the video monitor. I am constantly checking on little CJ and making sure he is breathing by making sure his back is rising and falling.

Through CJ's discovery that naps are much more comfortable if he sleeps on his tummy, he has been learning to self-soothe himself. YAY! There have been a few hiccups here and there because it can be quite a scary thing waking up on your stomach when your arms are still not as strong as they should be (especially when you are tired) but it seems to be getting better day by day! WOOOOOOFREAKINGHOOOO! If CJ could transition himself from 4 to 5 naps a day to 2 long ones all by himself, SJ (that's me) is freaking laughing! (I've now used the word freaking way too much in this post and am starting to refer to myself in the third person, whatevs) The future is looking bright. There is a chance that I will be getting more 'You' time. Hallelujah.

SIDE NOTE - do any of you moms ever randomly think you hear your baby crying and just in your imagination. I do that all the time and it drives me nuts. It makes me feel literally crazy.

Now back to CJ's sleep. First of all, who knew sleeping was such a science. A science that I feel no one truly understands. There are so many different methods which leads you to ask yourself, which one is the right one. It depends on your beliefs and your parental teaching style. It also depends on the baby because we know that every single baby is different. I read somewhere online (stay tuned for a link to this study) that when examining babies' sleep patterns that they could not find any patterns. That a baby who begins sleeping through the night at 3 or 4 months may not necessarily keep sleeping through night consistently. There are so many varying factors that affect whether a baby will sleep through the night.

This makes me feel as though it really does not matter what sleeping method we try, CJ will sleep as long as he pleases and this will vary from day to day and month to month. All we can do is hope that our little guy will somehow continue to learn how to self-soothe and figure it all out on his own.

SJ 

The Land of J's

Hello to all my readers (which would be all zero of you as of right now),

I'm totally fine with the fact that not a single person may be reading this post just yet. The whole reason behind this blog is that by being a brand new mother, I desperately need a place to vent because quite frankly, my husband is getting slightly annoyed with me lately because he seems to be getting the brunt of it (sorry RJ).

This also brings me to the title of the blog - The Land of J's - because that's where I'm leaving. The Land of J's. There's RJ who is of course my husband, CJ who is our adorable 5 month old baby boy & BJ (did I make you laugh?) is our cute adorable {huge} rescue mix - I guess we could use his real name, Boots, but I feel as though if I use BJ it will help give me a few extra chuckles if I'm ever having a super stressful day.

So moving on ... I can't promise you that this blog will be any of the following:

1) FUNNY - I have zero sense of humor and even when I try to be funny, I am clearly not so my blog will most certainly not make top 25 funniest mom blogs. Let's get that straight.

2) ADVICEFUL - Is that even a word? Insightful. BS-ing. I certainly do not want to mislead any of you into thinking that this blog will be about giving mommy advice. I am a brand new - have no idea what I am doing most of the time - mother who is just taking things day by day and not to sound too corny - trying my very best.

3) CREATIVE - I am definitely not creative hence the BS title & reasoning behind. I clearly could not come up with anything better. Also the blog design (a blogger generated template) was the 'moe' to my 'eeny meeny miny' and odly enough kind of represents how I'm feeling right now with the swirly lines and the crap colors (because it truly does kind of remind me of my son's poop).

4) INTERESTING - Don't get me wrong, I love my son & family with all my heart, but I'm sure to some of you the fact that my son was able to sit on his own or pooped all over me is probably not the most fascinating thing you've ever read online. For this, I make no apologies. Boring blog about me venting. Check.

5) SPELL CHECKED - Listen, I may only have a misely 5 mintes to rwite a ptso and therewfore connat prosmie I wlli haev tmei ot ues spellcehck. SORRY! We all know moms lead busy lives and to be honest, I just really want to vent as quickly and discretely as possible (RJ does not exactly approve of my online need to vent with strangers yet he can spend tons of times on his precious blackberry bbm'ing his friends or playing bejewelled). It's only fair. I also grew up going to total French school from grades 1 to 9 so my English seems to be a bit off and if you encounter any run-on sentences or word confusions, you'll know why.

So that's it. There you have it. You get little ol me - SJ - venting about life as a new mom. Take it or leave it. Hopefully you'll join me on this bumpy ride!

SJ