Weekend Blues

Well ... where do I begin.

This weekend I had my staff Christmas party which I decided to attend even though I am on maternity leave this year. The party was Friday night.

Originally, I thought I would not attend because I just spent all week getting over my 4th round of mastitis. It was brutal. I could not believe I had gotten mastitis AGAIN. Partly my fault though. Last weekend, we decided to have a few friends over and knowing that I have a huge freezer stash of breast milk, I thought I would enjoy myself. Well, I did so a little too much.

Sunday morning my breasts were the size of a couple BALLOONS and I could tell that I was extra dehydrated from my wine consumption the night before.As the day continued, I started to feel achy and eventually had the chills. I knew exactly what I was. MASTITIS aka. worst thing ever. So taking the whole week to recover from this nasty illness and being on antibiotics all week, I thought I would not do it to myself again and would not attend the Christmas party.

Then, I changed my mind.

I went from not wanting to go, to wanting to pop in for a few hours, to wanting to leave my car there overnight, to becoming full out tipsy and arriving home at 2:00 a.m. Let me tell you, yesterday was rough. Now all you moms out there can judge me all you want because I know drinking while breastfeeding is frowned upon but as I mentioned, I have a huge freezer stash which I can use anytime. So if SJ wants to enjoy a drink or two on weekends, I see no harm in such.

However; a lot of thoughts crossed my mind yesterday:

1) The big one being, I never want to drink again.

2) Well, I never want to drink that much again.

3) Next party I'm only having one glass of wine.

4) Am I bad a mom?

5) This is not fair to CJ.  He needs Mommy to be 110% everyday.Although, I feel like no matter how little sleep a mom does get, we can always be 'ON'.

6) Where the heck is Daddy when you need him? Oh ya - the big guy is actually a little hungover today himself!!!! And after he gave me such a hard time yesterday. Why I outta ... I am thinking I should just throw CJ on top of him and tell him I'm running out to run some Christmas shopping errands that I'll be back later. But I couldn't do that to my little CJ today.

So moving forward ... I think I will just be much more careful when indulging in a night of fun and remember that my son needs me at my best the next day no matter what (even through the holidays).

Side note - this morning we went to a friend's house for a doggie play date. BJ (insert snort and giggle) had a fabulous time. CJ enjoyed the fresh air even though it was really quite cold. We stayed about an hour before I could no longer feel my toes. Hoping someone gets this mama a pair of Sorels. All in all, it was a wonderful morning.

Now to finish those damn Christmas cards ...

SJ